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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

James Thurber

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"I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."

-Diane Ackerman

"I not only use all the brains I have, but all I can borrow."

-Woodrow Wilson

"Any musical innovation is full of danger to the whole State... when modes of music change, the State always changes with them."

-Plato

"Dare to be naive."

-R. Buckminster Fuller

"When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it's wrong."

-Bucky Fuller

"Self-plagiarism is style."

-Alfred Hitchcock

"Expert, n.: Someone who comes from out of town and shows slides. The only intuitive interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned."

-Bruce Ediger

"Then anyone who leaves behind him a written manual, and likewise anyone who receives it, in the belief that such writing will be clear and certain, must be exceedingly simple-minded..."

-Plato

"So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it."

-Willy Wonka

"Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot; others transform a yellow spot into the sun."

-Pablo Picasso

"Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings...they did it by killing all those who opposed them."

-anon

"I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don't care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is: 'What are they in a position to do about it?'"

-William S. Burroughs

"Don't let your mouth write no check your tail can't cash."

-Bo Diddley

"When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighters shaking hands."

-H.L. Mencken

"If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe."

--Abraham Lincoln

"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else."

-Lily Tomlin